i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
