i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
