D3 body, D1 cock
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
