just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
