at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
