You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
