I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
