The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You need Xanax blowdarts
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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