margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
