the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have already put on my inside pants.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
