I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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