and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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