I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
