so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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