ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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