The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
