that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
