I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
