So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
