I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
