Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
