He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
