I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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