I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
