i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
