Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
