she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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