He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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