I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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