this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
