You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
