well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Holy sore nipples Batman
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
