You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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