Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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