i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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