Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
