google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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