Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
