So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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