I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize