I'm really into asian looking animals
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
that is very illegal...i love you.
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