why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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