My Higher Power is John Stamos
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
