i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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