I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
