Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
