When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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