So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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