Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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