Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
