Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
